When asked who inspired them or influenced them, musicians, or at least rock musicians like myself, undoubtedly will recite artists such as the Beatles, the Stones, Elvis, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Hendrix, CCR, Joplin, etc.

But when my mother passed away last Christmas 2004, it occurred to me how much I had forgotten her influence. When I say influence, I'm not talking "style" or "direction" but more so, who introduced me to the beauty and joy of music.

We last spoke to each other over the phone on Christmas Eve; three days later she was gone. Like so many others who have lost a parent, I ended up having to say goodbye to her at the wake. I stood in front of the coffin the funeral parlor had layed her in; I touched her hand, it was so cold. I then moved my hand up to her face and stroked her cheek. Whispering, I asked, "Can you here me mama, I love you." Weeping a waterfall of tears, I wished for just one more moment to sit with her and talk at our kitchen table or play the piano for her, as I did so many times growing up.

Days later I was going through her things in the bedroom she and my father shared for 54 years and I came across her old record collection; an assortment of artists that spanned at least three decades-the 40's, 50's and 60's. I smiled as I recalled how much these records meant to her. I sifted through the collection, gently handling the platters as if they would fall apart in my hands. The longer I looked the more I remembered a 7 or 8-year-old child marching to songs like "The Ballad of the Green Beret" by SSGT Barry Sadler", and the "The Sinking of the Bismark" by Johnny Horton. I remembered listening with saddness as Johnny Cash sang about having a gallos built outside his wall with only 24 hours to go.

I remembered how I used to get worked up into a frenzy over the 45's, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" and "It's The Same Old Song" by the 4-tops; the first "rock" songs I recall being exposed to. There were my mom's other favorites as well: "Dr. Zhivago", "Leonard Bernstein's West Side Story", theme songs like "The Magnificant Seven", "Theme from Exodus" and "My Fair Lady".

The record company Logos -- Decca, Capital, Columbia seemed like road signs that marked a journey I had made in another lifetime. My favorite was the RCA logo with "Nipper" the RCA dog peering into the old fashioned phonograph. I loved that dog! [Albany New York has one of the only two Nippers remaining-did you know that?, bet you didn't]. Nipper Link

But the longer I looked at these names the further back in time I went. My happy memories were replaced by tears; I cried for my loss and what I will never have again. I clutched the records to my chest and whispered "Mommy come back, don't go, I need you, please come back".

I sobbed so hard my head was spinning and my breathing was labored. Kneeling, I felt myself teetering. I reached out with my free hand to keep myself from falling over; the other hand still cluthing the discs. I thought to myself, "Shit, I'm going to faint". I figured the last thing pop needs is to find his youngest face down on the floor clinging to a bunch of old records. I was able to remember some first aid they taught us in the army--take slow deep breaths, exhale slowly-maintain, that's it, it's working. I was able to compose myself.

While I may have been influenced by the Beatles, the Stones and Led Zeppelin and a dozen other artists, the credit really has to go to my mother for not only giving me the gift of life, but also, through those records, the gift of music. God speed Catherine.......you will be missed.

Email me at:cfdemarco2@yahoo.com